ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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