peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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