I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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