i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize