I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
