it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
