you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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