remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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