yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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