Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
