yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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