Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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