Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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