My nipple is on Facebook.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so let's talk penis.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
