You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
