Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
