Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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