so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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