His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
