i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
