if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Someone shattered a urinal.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
