covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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