Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
