It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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