i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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