Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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