The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize