A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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