I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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