Too much gin, very little bucket
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
