its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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