He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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