Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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