She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
