Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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