There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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