do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
