Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
