his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
