my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
