All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
be right there i have to get my cape
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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