Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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