yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
