Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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