I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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