if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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