Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think your dad took our porno
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
