I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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