I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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