Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
