I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize