the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
