I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
