Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Randomize
