I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
