ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
