soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
