The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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