One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
