He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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