Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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