Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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