fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
