You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
